Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
