your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
