70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize