You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
