Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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