I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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