At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
