i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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