Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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