for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
