what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
