Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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