Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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