so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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