Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
