somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
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Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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