Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
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she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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