my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
