I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You took a bar mat shot.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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