He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
