I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
