I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
