Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
