Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
