I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize