The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
