listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
