i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
