when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
