im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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