I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
