Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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