Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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