We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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