zippers are such a cool invention
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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