Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
