I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
