question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
