i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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