She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
