If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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