She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
