I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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