Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
