I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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