Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
