How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
