Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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