Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
