i don't like sucking hair
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
