his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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