It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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