i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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