I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
