suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
