on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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