there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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