i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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