idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
